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Marriage and the Bible – Be Not Unequally Yoked

3/3/2011

15 Comments

 
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What does the Bible say about marriage, you ask? It says a lot! Like many of God's plans for us, marriage is simple to understand, but not necessarily easy to live out. However, since God created the marriage relationship, and this important decision will forever impact our lives for better or worse, doing things his way is still the best. 

Here's a portion of what Jesus had to say to the Pharisees about marriage and divorce...

But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (Mark 10:6-9)

One man, one woman. Man cleaves to his wife. They become one flesh. That's a pretty simple plan to follow. But now we need to add an eternal perspective. Some people serve God and some don't. That's not a little thing especially since many important decisions we'll make will be based on what we believe. God knew that and commanded his people to not marry unbelievers.

What happened to Solomon thousands of years ago happens all too frequently to Christians today...

But king Solomon loved many strange women...Of the nations concerning which the LORD said unto the children of Israel, Ye shall not go in to them, neither shall they come in unto you: for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods: Solomon clave unto these in love.... and his wives turned away his heart. For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father.
(1 Kings 11:1-4)

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Those are some haunting words.  “for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods.” If you're in a relationship with an unbeliever now, have you already made compromises in your walk with God? If you have, it's only the tip of the iceberg.

I remember talking with a young couple who were planning to get married. They were both brought up with very different beliefs, but at the time, neither was living their faith. I asked them point blank about that. They really didn't have a well thought out answer. I strongly cautioned them to talk that out because eventually that would become important. 

They got married and guess what? The lenses of real life have replaced the rosy glasses  and faith is a major issue. Several months have passed now, and they're expecting their first child. How much more important will faith become in raising children? Off the charts is about right.

Marriage is wonderful! It's also wonderfully difficult even under the best of circumstances. Two people heading in opposite directions spiritually is asking for trouble, arguments, and many tears. What's even worse – much worse – is that some believers will compromise their faith to appease their mate and eventually lose their soul. They'll put their spouse above the Lord.

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty. 
(2 Corinthians 6:14-18)

Some lovely Christian women will spend more time picking out their gown then they will examining the depth of their fiancee's commitment to Christ. Ladies, the man you marry will become your head and spiritual authority that God will expect you to submit to. Have you thought that through? I write this not only to the twenty-somethings, but to you mature women of God too. Loneliness is difficult for sure, but being disobedient isn't the cure. Guard your witness and your ministry. Don't leave your first love. I know of a woman who, despite warnings from others, married the wrong man. She realized it almost immediately after the short honeymoon was over. Then, just a few months later, the right man appeared. Ouch.

Men, sex is great, but it's not everything. Underneath the curvy figure of your bride to be, are you confident there's a heart devoted to Jesus? Would you bet eternity on it? Or will prayer and Bible reading interfere with more worldly things to do? Be wise and don't set yourself up for failure. Unequally yoked marriages are more costly than you can possibly imagine especially when children become part of the picture.

I'm writing a novel that not only involves a unique approach to church fellowship, but also the interesting perils of an unequally yoked marriage. See more about that here.

Marriage and the Bible go together like a hand in glove. God's Word is full of advice and promises for a fulfilling and peaceful relationship to those who read and obey. That helpful advice actually begins before you get married. 

Choose wisely.


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15 Comments
Ashley
4/19/2011 02:20:35 pm

Hi I dont know really what it is that I am asking but I know the verse about the husband and wife being sanctified. My husband was Christian when I met him and I didn't really have a thought on what I really believed. My parents were Wiccan and I didn't proclaim that I was but I felt it still labeled me in my marriage. My husband has been dealing with some pretty tough spiritual warfare since we got married and I have been baptized at our church but I still don't know how to feel about everything that is happening to him. Is it still my fault even though I have recieved Jesus into my life and turned away from my moms beliefs all together?

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Patrick Sipperly link
4/20/2011 04:18:35 am

Hi Ashley, thank you for leaving your comment/question.

You asked: Is it still my fault even though I have recieved Jesus into my life and turned away from my moms beliefs all together?

Without knowing all the details of what you and your husband are going through, it's nearly impossible to say what impact your past may have on your lives currently. I rarely call situations "spiritual warfare" but that's just me. I've found most of life to be based on sowing and reaping, and the everyday tribulations that simply accompany being alive. But here's what I can say:

James 1:2-5 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

I believe that if we stop and seek the Lord for understanding and then allow God to answer, he will answer and will give direction. If you are under attack, he can show you why, from where, and how to engage.

I hope that helps! My prayers are with you!

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Daudi Msimbe link
4/30/2012 05:39:31 pm

Greetings in the Powerful name of Jesus Christ ,

It is my hope your well and you continue better with God's work. Also we are together spiritually and freshly. We continue better with God's work.

I 'm pastor Daudi Thomas Msimbe and my wife Georgina we are Founders & Directors of a church of Great Vision Pentecostal and Ministry of People Shipping Centre (by leadership of the holly spirit) since 2003 we started this work of God and now we have nine years in the ministry , but now is already registered by country laws.

Our registration number is so. 14120. Also we have no permanent place
for worshiping God. We have some place we pay for every month.

The purpose of this letter to you servant of God is to need friendship (please read the book of Malachi 2:7) So that to be have benefit together in the body of Christ and God's work continue forward means all we are unity in body of Christ(1 Corinthians 12:7,12-27) I and My church and I we need Contacts So that we need saving God with you together
.
Thank you for your cooperation between you and our ministry.

We expect you to give us your program and ways how to to do the work of God, And if possible to send kinds of spiritually books and tracts for evangelism.

So that the work of God can continue well and growth because I know our country is peacefully Greet all believers in the name of the Lord (1 Thess 5:26) first of all we need your prayers.

You are most welcome to Arusha Tanzania in East Africa

Have a blessed day

Senior Pastor Daudi Thomas Msimbe

Founder & Director

GVPC & MPSC

P.O Box 13437 Arusha-Tanzania

Tel:+255 754 22 84 77
+255 755 56 54 73
+255 787 14 78 33

Attached herewith please find the following; *Our Faith

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8/25/2012 08:38:38 pm

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Dannielle
6/7/2013 05:28:02 pm

Hi, I'm 18 and I am in a relationship with a 27 year old man. He has a daughter. He was married when he had her and didn't have sex till then ad isn't going to have till we are married. He is divorced. The wife left him. I am a verging and am going to be till we are married. Is this relationship wrong?

Reply
Patrick link
6/10/2013 12:52:28 pm

Hello Dannielle, thank you for the question. I'm not sure how to answer your question. Why do you feel something might be wrong with the relationship?

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Dannielle
6/10/2013 02:06:17 pm

I don't feel that the relationship is wrong. I've never felt more right with anyone but I live in my mothers house and highly disagrees. She said it is the devil deceiving me and that its ungodly and she hasn't even met him. My family is all saying the same thing.

dannielle
6/7/2013 05:29:05 pm

*vergin

Reply
Patrick link
6/18/2013 03:30:14 pm

Unfortunately, since I don't know you or the man you are interested in, I don't see myself worthy of offering counsel to you personally. I can point to the Word as I have done in the above post, and encourage you to seek the Lord for his will. You're going to find disapproval from some people no matter what you do. Ultimately it's your decision. You should do your due diligence to really know this person and his walk with God. 18 is so young. What you want in life may change dramatically in the next decade. I didn't marry till I was nearly 30 - and I thank God it wasn't any sooner! But that's me. May the Lord make his will plain to you, and may you follow his plan with joy.

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Hazel
7/25/2013 06:06:39 am

Hi I'm 18, and I'm currently in a relationship. I'm a Christian, and my bf is sikh,from indian. I know that being unequally yoked is wrong. But the thing is I only found about it when my parents told me. Because I rarely read the bible so I didn't know it was wrong. I tried to leave the relationship since I know it's gonna be hard but my bf doesn't want me to leave and ask me to see if things could still work out even though we have different religion views. And what exactly is an unbeliever ?
Thanks

Reply
Patrick link
8/5/2013 10:31:04 pm

Hello Hazel,
I'm a little confused by your comments. You say that you know being unequally yoked is wrong, but you don't read your Bible much and then ask what a believer is. If I can be candid with you, I think you really know what a Christian is and who only pretends to be.

A believer isn't someone who merely believes Jesus Christ existed 2000 years ago, just as a "Christian" isn't a fancy word for church goer. A Christian is one who is Christ-like, and to "believe" means to adhere to and obey. Obey what? The word of God. An unbeliever is someone who does not have a relationship with Jesus Christ and his word.

I don't know you or this man, Hazel, so take anything I say with a grain of salt. If you cannot honestly see Christ in your boyfriend, I would steer clear of a relationship beyond that of being friends. Put Jesus first in all of your decisions and you'll be much better off. Let Christ join you together with a man of His choosing!

Mark 10:9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

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